I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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