ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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