All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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