you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This is classic penis vs brain.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Enjoy the penises
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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