I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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