it wasn't lemon gatorade
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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