My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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