i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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