I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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