Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize