I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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