dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just puked most of my soul out..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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