I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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