i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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