sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
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it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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