new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize