So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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