There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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