I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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