she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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