I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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