Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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