Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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