dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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