Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize