Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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