Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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