Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize