Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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