So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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