Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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