I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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