i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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