wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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