We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
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I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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