I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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