I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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