I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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