Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize