So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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