im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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