never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Drunk is a universal language darling
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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