you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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