Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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