It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize