Can i not drive my cunt home
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize