Sry I called you an 8
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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