I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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