if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize