i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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